All marriages have their ups and downs, and it takes a lot of effort to nurture and protect a marital union. However, children, financial struggles, personal issues, and work commitments can sometimes take a toll on even the most loving relationships, and it may feel nearly impossible to maintain a civil partnership. To save a marriage, both parties in the relationship must be willing to dedicate time and effort to fixing and strengthening the bond that ties them together.
Otherwise, the relationship may end in a costly and time-consuming divorce. According to the American Psychological Association, 40% to 50% of marriages result in divorce. If you and your partner aren’t interested in becoming part of that statistic just yet, there are plenty of proactive strategies you can employ to help save your relationship.
The following are some suggestions to consider that can help you fix the cracks in your marriage before either of you admit defeat.
Attend marriage counseling
Marriage counseling effectively helps couples resolve conflicts and strengthen their partnership by talking to a licensed therapist, also known as a marriage counselor. These therapists are similar to regular therapists in that they offer advice and strategies and tools to overcome mental health issues. The only difference is that they focus primarily on relationships as a whole, whether the couple is married or not.
If the main point of contention in ya marriage is a lack of communication or unproductive dialogue, meeting with a therapist is the ideal solution. Marriage counselors will listen to problems from an objective standpoint and see the reality of your circumstances in a way that isn’t clouded by negative emotions. This allows them to identify the real cause of these conflicts and recommend healthy ways to resolve them.
Work out personal issues
Personal baggage can put a lot of unnecessary stress on a relationship. Often, underlying personal issues such as insecurity, anger problems, and a fear of commitment can get in the way of a happy marriage. Rather than putting all the blame on the marriage itself, it’s important for both parties involved in the relationship to look inwardly and sort out their own individual issues first. This means seeking out professional help and making concerted efforts to improve themselves.
Improve health and wellness
Putting effort into marriage also includes putting effort into looking good and feeling great. Things like working out, cooking healthy meals, and dressing well can have a favorable effect on the physical and mental well-being of each partner. When both partners take care of their health and wellness, they feel more comfortable and confident in themselves, and these positive feelings extend towards the relationship.
Spend quality time with each other
Being in the same room as each other isn’t the same as spending quality time together. Not every moment with a partner has to be an event. Still, it’s important to plan a special date night or have a meaningful conversation every once in a while to break the monotony of everyday life, bond over something, and build the strength of the relationship.
Give each other space
There are times when a problematic marriage may be rooted in a couple spending too much time together. Each partner should have the opportunity to do something for themselves and the space to grow as an individual. Otherwise, they’ll feel stifled and suffocated. Marriage is all about striking a balance between spending quality time together and spending time apart from each other.
Put physical affection into practice
Physical affection such as hugging and holding hands can trigger the release of oxytocin — also known as the “love hormone” — in the body. This is why couples shouldn’t underestimate the value of physical affection. Something as simple as cuddling and giving a back massage can also significantly reduce stress hormones and boost the emotional and physical well-being of each partner.
Assess the reasons to remain married
A rough patch or two is normal in any relationship. The key is knowing when it’s worth it to stay despite these rough patches or when to leave. This is why it’s important to take the time to think about all the reasons it’s better to remain in the marriage. There are certain cases where the divorce really is just the best option, such as in the case of abusive marriages or partners who are unwilling to change or put in the work to keep the marriage. However, if there are more valid reasons to stay than married, than there are reasons to leave, then it may be worth it to give the marriage another shot.
If you’re experiencing difficulties in your marriage, but you don’t want to divorce just yet, then you should consider these last-ditch efforts to save your marriage. Divorce can take a lot out of a person, both financially and mentally, so it’s important to exhaust all your options thoroughly before you go through it.
